We’ve all been in that place. You have a pretty good idea what must be done, but you can’t do it. You know it is the appropriate thing to do, but you just can’t act. You are stuck. You mull the circumstances over and over in your head, but still you don’t really do anything about it. You wait…wait for life to come along and work it out for you. Then you accept the outcome. There are times when this approach might be okay, perhaps even the best choice; but most of the time we just don’t have the courage to make a decision.
That’s what it boils down to, you know…courage. Well, I know that’s the case for me anyway. I have taken to examining myself at such times when I find it difficult to decide what best to do. My discovery is that, even when it is abundantly clear that one action is for the greater good, fear stops me from acting of my own will. I look at the “possible” consequences and I can’t bear to move forward. What about the other action? Well, the fallout of that might also be unbearable, so I don’t take that action either. I can’t stay where I am. I must do one of the other. Repeatedly I return back to the same fork in the road, and I don’t act on either one, hoping that the next time I return there would be more clarity. Sadly, clarity hardly comes. Eventually, when I do act, a lot more damage has been done than was necessary...damage that could have been avoided if I only had the courage to act sooner.
Well, more damage isn’t always done, one could argue. It’s true. Still, at the very least, you take away your control of the situation by becoming a victim. Surely that’s wrong, you say. What if you rush into a decision that you later come to regret? Wouldn’t it be better to consider things fully before you do something stupid? Once again, that’s correct. However, for most people, the consideration goes on for way longer than it should. If there is something else that should happen first, then that’s fine; but this is not the case either, for most people. It’s just that they don’t want to do what is necessary.
There is a concept in coaching called seed planting. It means that it takes time for new ideas and suggestions to be embraced. There are clients that take hold of a new idea and run with it, some take a little more time to allow the idea to grow while others can take years before the idea sprouts. Still some clients will never grasp the idea. It will simply lay dormant. It doesn't really matter what the client does with the idea. The purpose is to plant the seed and the client can do with it what they will. Sometimes the idea just needs time to germinate.
A counselor once told me that not to make a decision is a decision. She said not to choose was a choice. I thought she was nuts and went on with my life. It was five years later when I was in the middle of a situation where I was avoiding a decision that her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I literally said out loud, "I get it." It took years for that seed to germinate in my brain until one day it sprouted and grew into a concept I understood. I was finally ready to get it. I wasn't able to hear it before, but with time, I had evolved enough so the concept made sense. New ideas can take time to get used to. When we first hear the idea we may not be ready for it. That is fine. When you are ready the idea will sprout and grow and be there for you.
Benjamin Franklin, inventor, statesman, writer, publisher and economist relates in his autobiography that early in his life he decided to focus on arriving at moral perfection. He made a list of 13 virtues, assigning a page to each. Under each virtue he wrote a summary that gave it fuller meaning. Then he practiced each one for a certain length of time.
To make these virtues a habit, Franklin can up with a method to grade himself on his daily actions. In a journal he drew a table with a row for every virtue and a column for every day of the week. Every time he made a fault, he made a mark in the appropriate column. Each week he focused his attention on a different virtue. Over time, through repetition, he hoped to one day experience the pleasure of "viewing a clean Book."
He says that he carried out this personal examination for years. In order to do the work thoroughly he decided to attempt each virtue and a quarter of its importance - one at a time. He began with temperance, which included the moderating of every pleasure or inclination to develop undesirable habits,
You've heard the expression, "Just believe it and it will come." Well, technically, that is true, however, 'believing' is not just thinking that you can have it; it is also feeling that it is possible. When we believe that we can "have it," that means we have no doubt in receiving it.
In the formula for Deliberate Attraction:
(1) Identify Desire
(2) Raise the Vibration (feeling)
(3) Allow it
the allowing of your desire can come to you very quickly providing you have no resistance to receiving it.
Life happens. It doesn’t matter how positive an attitude you have or how balanced and centered you are, there are going to be times when you are knocked down. Ties when your carefully organized life is turned upside down and you get knocked on your rear end. Life happens.
You will no doubt experience serious illness in either yourself or someone close to you. You may be challenged with the loss of a loved one, a divorce or perhaps the loss of a job or any number of situations that will leave you feeling like you were kicked in the stomach.
Let’s face it. These things will happen. They’re part of life and no matter how you try to explain them away with the idea that, "everything happens for a reason," they hurt. A lot! They hurt at the very core of your being. The pain begins in your heart and radiates throughout your entire being. Repeating positive phrases does not make it stop hurting.